It is almost two years now, that I left Portugal for a fresh start in Chile. Yesterday was my last day at Paranal. Though it has been on my mind for a while, I could not run away from it anymore, my time in Chile is running out. The last months haven't been easy, I had to start making some decisions concerning my future, which made me more than once come across the fact that I will leave Chile. When I left Portugal, I knew that I would be back in two years, that this experience was putting my life into pause for two years before pressing play again. Now I see me, staring at the play button without any desire of pushing it, knowing that pushing it means pushing the stop button of these two years as well. I am at that point of my path where I have to make one of those decisions that leave something behind. And whatever the decision is, I will leave a lot behind and I HATE it!
Yesterday was my last day at Paranal. I lived here for more than half of the time I was in Chile. I said many times that Paranal was my home, whilst Santiago was going on holidays for 6 days every two weeks. The atmosphere at Paranal is not just that of a common workplace. People sleep here, share emotions, share a life, you create yourself a family, because it is the only way to keep sane in such a working schedule. In two hours, I had to say goodbye to my family, more than 50 people, one by one, office by office. To some people I said goodbye several times during the day. It doesn't really matter if they were around for two years or just a couple of months. The strength of the bonds you create here is timeless. I managed to find a way to make the moment less emotional, less depressive, by creating opportunities to meet everyone again before leaving, either in Santiago or Antofagasta, but in the end the moment was very very hard to handle. I do not know if I was sad or just melancholic, but what is a fact is that the day I left Paranal, without any perspective of returning, was the day that started the process of an ending. An ending for a period on my life, an ending for my time in Chile and even an ending for this blog. Saudade... Inevitable...
It is almost two years now, that I left Portugal for a fresh start in Chile. Yesterday was my last day at Paranal. Though it has been on my mind for a while, I could not run away from it anymore, my time in Chile is running out. The last months haven't been easy, I had to start making some decisions concerning my future, which made me more than once come across the fact that I will leave Chile. When I left Portugal, I knew that I would be back in two years, that this experience was putting my life into pause for two years before pressing play again. Now I see me, staring at the play button without any desire of pushing it, knowing that pushing it means pushing the stop button of these two years as well. I am at that point of my path where I have to make one of those decisions that leave something behind. And whatever the decision is, I will leave a lot behind and I HATE it!
Yesterday was my last day at Paranal. I lived here for more than half of the time I was in Chile. I said many times that Paranal was my home, whilst Santiago was going on holidays for 6 days every two weeks. The atmosphere at Paranal is not just that of a common workplace. People sleep here, share emotions, share a life, you create yourself a family, because it is the only way to keep sane in such a working schedule. In two hours, I had to say goodbye to my family, more than 50 people, one by one, office by office. To some people I said goodbye several times during the day. It doesn't really matter if they were around for two years or just a couple of months. The strength of the bonds you create here is timeless. I managed to find a way to make the moment less emotional, less depressive, by creating opportunities to meet everyone again before leaving, either in Santiago or Antofagasta, but in the end the moment was very very hard to handle. I do not know if I was sad or just melancholic, but what is a fact is that the day I left Paranal, without any perspective of returning, was the day that started the process of an ending. An ending for a period on my life, an ending for my time in Chile and even an ending for this blog. Saudade... Inevitable...
4 comments:
Saying goodbye to someone, some place, you love, it's one of the hardest emotions to handle you can experience. So, let it go, feel free to be sad, to live this moment as you feel it. More adventures will certainly come in a near future.
Colega está tudo bem contigo? Vi agora as notícias sobre um sismo no Chile...
hugs (( )):**
Sadino amigo! Que história triste! Vá lá! Eu sei que dizer Adeus custa mas parece que vais mudar de planeta! Podes sempre telefonar, escrever, visitar... e nunca vai ser a mesma coisa mas outras coisas novas, outras pessoas te esperam!! E quanto ao blog, bem... lá porque a tua vida continua noutro sítion não quer dizer que não seja mesma vida que teve um começo (a Fresh Start, para ser mais precisa) no Chile! Continua a escrever que eu gosto de ler ;) Ânimo amigo! Beijinhos!
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